she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
