just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
and you fell through a lawn chair
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
