It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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