Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
