New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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