question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
