He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
