I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
