im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
