Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
