I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
