R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
