And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
