Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
