so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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