The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
