If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
