I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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