I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
