hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
