how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
