People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
