I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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