An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
