Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
