It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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