omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
