idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
