I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
