Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
