Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
