Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
