You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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