so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
