But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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