He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she looked like the before picture.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
