this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
