We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
last night I used snow as a chaser
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