your room smells of hookers.
And success
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I love you.
Bad choice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize