Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
