Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
