I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
