how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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