she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
