elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My bed smells like the plague
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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