i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
