Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
