I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
