her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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