In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
