Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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